Who am I and why am I here? I am a wife, a mother to 4 kids aged 14-22, a physician, a dog mom and a beach lover. And I am so much more….sister, aunt, friend (go Cosmos), running partner, classic rock, classical and disco music lover, jokester…(caffeine addicted, sarcastic, blunt). Sometimes, okay a lot, extremely self-critical (I’m even questioning my punctuation now).
I was the poster child for physician burnout several years ago and admittedly made life miserable for many, although I didn’t realize it at the time. One never realizes it until we hit the proverbial rock bottom. It wasn’t until I forgot to pick up one of my own children from school that I googled things like, “picking up and moving to Belize” and “physician burnout.” I got connected to a website, then attended a life-changing retreat in Seattle (I won’t mention names cause I’m not sure what’s legal in this FB world….but you know who you are, DD). I was able to love my career/life again. Yet, there was always a feeling that there was more for me to do…the unfinished book.
Then, healthy husband gets diagnosed with MS out of the freaking blue. I mentally fast forwarded to me having to work a bazillion hours a week to support a disabled husband, then dying of a stress induced heart attack, leaving my husband all alone. I decided to cut back on hours (btw, husband still mobile, working full-time as an Oceanographer and part-time in a rock band of professors, called The Professorz.)
Feb 2020-attended a retreat (EH-yes you!) with like-minded, bad ass, women physicians. These women reminded me of younger versions of myself, and it was then that I decided, to listen to that nagging voice to explore my options.
BAM! COVID hits and I realize that nothing is a given, life’s too short, all the cliches….I know you are all thinking…Jeez-get to the freaking point already!
My point is, don’t live in indecision. If there’s a nagging voice, listen to it (unless it involves a tarp, bleach and duct tape). There’s comfort in the familiar, but it’s the discomfort that makes all of the exciting things happen.